this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
