the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize