If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
