508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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