what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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