Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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