I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
