there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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