He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
