So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
