Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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