Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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