So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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