Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
