Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
