I think im going to throw up on grandma
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize