you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
