I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
