After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
