i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
