see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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