we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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