I met the friendliest cop last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize