i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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