i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
