Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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