PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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