Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
