Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
