I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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