school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
