My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
