this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am available for nakedness
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
