I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
