i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
