Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
