Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
