well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
