My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was like getting head from an anaconda
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just gargled with NyQuil
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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