i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
