That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
