Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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