We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
