Whod you bang
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
