I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize