Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
