saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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