No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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