that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
