why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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