i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In other news, I just burned my penis
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
