the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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