Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
