Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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