i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
