Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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