talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woke up backwards on a recliner
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
