i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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