love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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