are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
