so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
bring money and cleavage
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
