I can text with my tongue
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
are you so shy because you have an std?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
