Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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