I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
