if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
