I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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