batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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