3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
