At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
