Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
