You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
