I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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