Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
